Hi, I'm Remi

Language teacher, 15+ years, dad of a four-language kid.

At seven, I arrived in France in June, speaking only Korean. By October, I had no trouble in French. And over the following months, I lost my Korean, completely. Nobody told me to stop. It just faded.

My daughter Lia is seven now, the age I was then. She speaks four languages, and she'll never have to relearn one.

Language teacher, 15+ years
Speaks French, Korean, Spanish, English
Lives in Cancún, Mexico
Single dad, shared custody

The child who lost a language

I was born in Korea. At seven, I was adopted by a French family. I landed in a world where nobody spoke my language. My adoptive sisters patiently taught me French all summer. I started school in September, and within a month I had no trouble communicating at all.

And my Korean faded just as fast. Years later I lived in Korea for almost a decade, from 25 to 33, and had to relearn it as an adult, starting with a six-month course at a language university. It was very, very hard. Of all the languages I speak, Korean is still my weakest.

So I've seen both sides. A kid can pick up a language crazy fast when they need it. And a kid can lose one just as fast when nobody keeps it going.

The only French speaker in her day

Lia was born in Cancún, Mexico. From her very first day, I spoke to her in French, only French. Her mother spoke to her in Korean. Outside our door, the whole world spoke Spanish.

When Lia was about one and a half, her mother and I separated. Since then we share custody: four days with me, three with her mother. If you're a separated parent, know this from the start: it didn't stop anything.

I didn't follow a strict method. I didn't hire a French nanny. I didn't send her to a French school, because there isn't one where we live. I know maybe four or five French speakers in Cancún, and we almost never see them.

Today she speaks French like a native. Her Spanish is fully fluent, her English is very strong, and she speaks Korean very well too.

What I did have was a reason, a few habits and a lot of conversation.

Photo to come: Remi and Lia together

Why French mattered so much to me

I speak several languages, but French is the one I think in. Both of my grandmothers, my biological grandmother and my adoptive grandmother, had Alzheimer's. So I remember thinking: if one day I'm old and ill like them, I might lose my Korean, my Spanish and my English. French is the language that would stay.

I wanted my daughter to be able to talk to me in it, until the very end.

You may have your own reason. Grandparents who only speak your language. A culture you want to pass on. Or simply the feeling that your child should speak the language of your heart. Hold on to that reason. On tired days, it will matter more than any technique.

What I bring, and what I don't

15+ years as a language teacher, with hundreds of students. I know what makes people speak, and what makes them freeze.
Four languages in my own life: French, Korean, Spanish and English. I started Spanish from zero at about 36.
A real home, not a theory. One child, two homes, four languages, in a country that speaks none of our home languages.
Research where it exists. I read it, I use it, and I list my sources.

I'm not a speech therapist or a doctor, and nothing here is medical advice. If you're worried about your child's development, talk to a specialist, ideally one who works with bilingual children.

In Lia's words

I asked Lia what she likes doing most with her papa in French. Her answer, translated from French:

Lia, age 7

“Playing with him.”

She didn't talk about lessons, homework or rules. For her, French is the language of playing with her dad. That's what I want for your language too.

Where to go next

Read the blog, look inside the guide, or book a Family Plan Call. You can also find me on Instagram, Raise Bilingual Kids.

Stress low, let it flow.

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